February 18, 2016 / 2 Comments
Weddings of Our Own: Becca & Colt
February 18, 2016 / 2 Comments
NAMES Becca Keo & Colt Meier.
CORRECT PRONOUNS Becca prefers to be referred to as they/them/theirs, and Colt as he/him/his.
LIVE IN Texas Medical Center neighborhood, Houston.
OCCUPATIONS Becca is a doctoral student and research assistant at University of Houston, Graduate College of Social Work; Colt is a clinical psychologist and medical student.
HOW THEY MET At UH, where they both were studying psychology. There was an immediate mutual attraction and close friendship, which bloomed quickly into a romantic relationship. Having never been attracted to a man before, Becca embarked on an identity exploration early on. Colt, meanwhile, shared that he was a man of transgender experience and had also previously identified as a lesbian, further sparking Becca’s exploration of which labels worked best both individually and as a couple. It didn’t take long for Becca to understand that for them, the labels that currently exist do not quite work, and that they loved Colt for the person he was.
HOW THEY GOT ENGAGED After dating for two years, Colt proposed to Becca in California. Due to an ongoing legal case involving a transgender couple, they were unsure if their marriage would be recognized by the state. After Prop 8 was overturned, however, they married legally in California—in August 2013—and had their ceremony at Rice University’s Student Center Chapel in January 2014.
REHEARSAL DINNER They had a family-style dinner at Buca di Beppo. In his speech, Colt’s dad said he knew Becca was “the one” for Colt when Becca went on a fishing trip with him and caught the most fish.
NUMBER OF GUESTS 150
WEDDING COLORS Dark blue, charcoal gray, off-white.
THE MENU They set up stations in the style of food carts—highlights included mac and cheese, fried rice, Caprese salad, and sliders.
DESSERT A three-tier cake with red-velvet (top) and vanilla layers.
MUSIC Ceremony songs included “Seasons of Love” from Glee (prelude), “A Thousand Years, Pt. 2” by Christina Perri (processional), and “Unconditionally” by Katy Perry (recessional).
The couple’s first dance was to Colbie Callait’s “Magic,” and they also invited all of the other LGBT couples in attendance to dance to Sade’s ”By Your Side.” Each danced with both sets of parents—Becca to “Do I Make You Proud,” by Taylor Hicks, and Colt to “My Wish,” by Rascal Flatts.
We were extremely excited to share our wedding news with family and friends, though with a touch of caution.
IF THEY HAD TO DO IT OVER They would have made time to eat before the wedding or had plates prepared for them during the reception.
FAVORITE DETAILS When they snuck away and spent a few minutes hugging and being present in the moment.
UNIQUE ELEMENT They had a haircutting ceremony before the wedding in honor of a Cambodian tradition.
UNEXPECTED EVENT Becca was surprised by a special song performance that all of the kids in their family (siblings and cousins) planned with Colt.
HOW YOUR WEDDING WAS DIFFERENT THAN YOU’D ALWAYS IMAGINED IT WOULD BE Becca says: “I never imagined I would marry a man!” Colt says: “I imagined that I would have to get married in a white dress in a Catholic church.”
ADVICE FOR OTHERS Make it your own. It is your day. Try to experience the day to the fullest. Make some time to be together away from everyone else because it will be a busy day.
THE DAY IN THREE WORDS Meaningful, loving, gender-expansive.
HIGH POINTS, AND CHALLENGES, OF PLANNING A TRANS WEDDING “We were surprised that several Catholic priests attended our engagement party in support of our marriage. All of our immediate family members as well as many of our close friends attended our ceremony,” Becca says. One of Becca’s favorite moments was during their dad’s speech, when he told everyone that Becca always asked for a kiss before bed growing up and it would be Colt’s turn to take over and kiss Becca every night before bed. Challenges included the many heteronormative and cisnormative assumptions about the couple’s relationship during the wedding planning process, at the county clerk’s office, and when filling out paperwork. Many people did not understand what we wanted for our wedding, as we do not identify as a heterosexual or gay couple. Adds Becca: “We were extremely excited to share our wedding news with family and friends, though with a touch of caution, since we were unsure how some would react. A handful of friends and family did not attend our wedding because they were not supportive of our relationship. While this was hurtful, we were able to invite other folks who were extremely supportive.”
CEREMONY AND RECEPTION
Rice University Student Center Chapel and Grand Hall
Rev. Terri Steed (MCC) and Rev. Paul Meier (Colt’s uncle, Lutheran)
Becca’s suit (Saint Harridan),
Colt’s suit (Calvin Klein)
HAIR AND MAKEUP
Josh Crippen with J Salon
Thailand and Cambodia
Embossed Graphics of Texas