What are your Best Man duties?
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Engaged couples plan their weddings with near military precision (although this is mostly down to the sensible bride-to-be rather than the overawed groom) but you still might find yourself called up in your position as best man to lend a helping hand. So communicate regularly with the nearly-weds in the build-up to their big day and offer your services where required.
You are the BEST man so make sure you live up to your new title!
Chief among your new roles is to make sure the groom has an ally and friend in need to call on when the wedding madness starts to threaten his own sanity. Having to choose just one out of 200 dresses that all look the same to him, picking the perfect font for table name cards, deciding who sits on what table, he will have been informed that all these things are now more important than the meaning of life. So throw him a lifeline with “wedding fact-finding missions” to the local pub to help plan.
And perhaps drink a little, well it’s a pub so it would be rude not to.
Pre-Wedding Responsibilities
Most modern couples plan their weddings with near military precision (although this is mostly down to the sensible bride rather than the hapless groom) however you might be called upon to help out. Make sure you communicate regularly with the happy couple in the build-up to their big day offering your services where required.
They have picked you for this huge honor for a reason so make sure you help out wherever you can.
Also, you might find the groom is starting to break under the strain of having to choose the best one out of 200 dresses that all look the same to him and other assorted tasks he didn’t see coming so offering to get him out on “wedding fact-finding missions” to the local bar might be an invaluable help.
The Bachelor Party
As the best man, it’s down to you to organize the bachelor party. A weekend of such epic proportions that Morgan Freeman will want to narrate it. If you’re stuck for ideas or simply want to make the condemned man groom’s last days of freedom truly memorable then check you can download this FREE
Buy a Suit
Yes, you will be wearing a suit that someone else has chosen but this isn’t your big day if you’re asked to give an opinion try to support the couple’s choice rather than throw in more confusion and put your own taste to one side.
Unless you hear the words “velvet suit” in which case call the fashion police immediately.
Transportation
Another of your best man duties is to get the main man to the church on time, in one piece and wearing the right suit. Don’t leave anything to chance and this isn’t the fast and furious, the groom and his best man should arrive at the church cool, calm and collected. So check ahead to see if there are any road works or local events that might get in the way come the big day.
Responsibilities On The Wedding Day
The groom will either be cool as ice and taking it all in his stride, or more nervous than a death row inmate at a “leaving party”. Even if he just one cufflink away from a meltdown, make sure you are the rock in his ocean of panic.
Get Him to the Church on Time
Forget any nerves about your wedding speech, it’s his day so make sure you’re there for him to prevent any meltdown or last-minute wobbles.
Most importantly, get him to the right venue, in the right suit-wearing matching socks.
Organize the Groomsmen
There is just a chance there will be other groomsmen even feeling even more clueless than you have been. It’s up to you to help get this rabble ship shape and working like a well-oiled machine. Don’t panic, there won’t be too many tasks, handing out hymn sheets, making sure everyone knows which side of the church/venue to sit on. One important role is to make sure any young groomsmen are taken care of. As you’re likely to be busy making sure one of the other groomsmen is on hand to look after any {actual} children that are playing a role in the wedding.
Best Man Duties
Keep Track of the Rings
That shouldn’t be too hard right? Well, you will be checking your pockets every five minutes to make sure you’ve got them but no. This should be a fairly simple task. However one handy tip; when it comes to the moment in the ceremony when the couple has to take the rings it’s possible their hands will be shaking so rather than just holding out the ring boxes, place the rings on the flat of your palm which will make it easier for them to take and prevent them from being dropped on the floor (which is something that happens more often than people realize).
Photographer’s Assistant
The photographer might well be working alone and won’t be familiar with the key members of the wedding party. What’s more, as soon as he thinks he’s got everyone assembled the bride will suddenly realize her favorite Aunt Vanessa is MIA. Wedding photos can take far too long if not properly organized so be on hand for a little crowd control if needed and help make sure the right faces are there, ready for the right photos. Enlist the help of the groomsmen if needed.
If you can, try and be ready straight after the ceremony to start getting the key figures together for the all-important photo shoot.
Master of Ceremonies
If the wedding doesn’t have an official MC this role should fall to you to organize the speeches, introduce each of the speakers and bring things to a close at the end of your own speech. Also if you can, check out the sound system or microphone beforehand to ensure everything is working.
Best Man’s Speech
This is the defining moment of your career as the best man. It is probably both a blessing and a curse that the groom has finally admitted that you are indeed the best man, however, that double-edged sword means as well as a free diner, you have to give to write a speech that will sing his praises (lie if necessary) and entertain the wedding guest while not offending the priest, bride, groom, or their families.
If this is already causing you sleepless nights then you’ll find everything you need to craft the perfect speech in our SpeechBuilder with over 4,000 icebreakers, jokes, quotes, and thoughts for your speech.
Get the Party Started
Having got the groom to the church on time, not lost the rings, and wowed the guest with the funniest wedding speech of all time you are probably ready for a well-earned drink and to enjoy the compliments while contemplating your future career as a stand-up comedian. Sadly that fat lady hasn’t sung yet. You still have a little more work to do.
Once the newly-weds have performed the first dance it is traditional for the Best Man to dance with the chief bridesmaid (as best man duties go this can either be a blessing or a very long 3 minutes depending on who your opposite number is). Even if you’re not a natural dancer, throw yourself into the role and help get the party moving and make sure the dancefloor is never left empty.
You’ll also need to play defense for the happy couple; the caterers, photographer, DJ, bar staff, band, etc might have questions or problems they want to raise with the new Mr & Mrs. Be on hand to answer any questions and if you’re not sure of the exact answers then consult with the bride’s parents or the bridesmaids to solve any problems so the stars of the show can concentrate on enjoying their evening and their guests.
Wedding Gifts
Is there are a mountain of gifts building up on a table somewhere? There’s possibly far too many for the bride and groom to carry on their own so with the help of the other groomsman and bridesmaids help carry any wedding gifts to the bridal suite or waiting for car.
Decoration
It is traditional for the wedding car the bride and groom will drive off in to be appropriately adorned with trappings announcing their newly married status so be sure to get busy with the shaving foam and other trimmings.
10 Commandments of the Best Man
- Thou shalt not mention the bachelor party. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
- Thou shalt not use your best man speech to try to pick up bridesmaids. Wait until they’re drunk.
- Thou shalt not refer to the bride with the words “…actually back in high school she used to be a looker…”.
- Thou shalt not finish thy best man’s speech by asking everyone to join you in singing “Another One Bites The Dust”.
- Thou shalt not tell stories about the groom that include the words “…man, we were so drunk…”
- Thou shalt not perform thy speech using the art of mime.
- Thou shalt not swear during thy speech, trust us, that sh*t won’t f***ing go well with the families.
- Thou shalt not get drunk and do something you might regret. Like one of the bride’s relatives.
- Thou shalt not ever mention any of the groom’s ex-girlfriends. Even the ugly ones. Especially the ugly ones.
- Thou shalt not celebrate a successful speech by breakdancing. Those days are behind you now. Move on.
Fun Facts about the Best Man
On average it costs a Best Man in the US $800 to fulfill his role. This accounts for the stag do, suit hire, travel, wedding gift, etc.
In ancient Egypt, men preferred not to take their bride’s virginity personally. Instead, they would have one of their servants do it for them.
Elton John earned a reported $3 million for singing at the wedding of multi-millionaire Peter and Pauline Shavelson.
When in 2006 a Sudanese man was caught having sex with his neighbor’s goat, he was sentenced to marry the animal and pay a dowry to its former owner.
In Fiji, it was once believed that the god Nangganangga would not let bachelors enter paradise but turn them to ash if they died before being married. So if you are still single and invited to be the best man at a Fijian wedding you’d better grab yourself a bridesmaid quick!
The eruption of an Icelandic volcano caused chaos in European air space causing most flights to be canceled. Of the 14 man bachelor party, Gavin Bell was the one to make it to their intended destination, the German capital Berlin. Not wanting the groom to “miss out” on his own bachelor party, Gavin made a mini-model of the groom which he then took and photographed at all the city’s major landmarks and posted online for the rest of the party to see.