Like any groom, you’re probably still wondering how one simple question could have created so much madness. Most men confess that they’ve never thought much about the day they would one day get married, we’re men, as long as there’s some good food, a live band and we have the complete power of veto over the best man’s speech (fat chance) we’d be happy. But for the lady in question it’s she’s been planning since she was a little girl. When you were learning to pull wheelies on your bike and planning on becoming an astronaut, your bride-to-be was already dreaming of her future Prince Charming (although she was probably picturing him wearing a silver crown and sword rather than your scruffy Converse and favorite band T-shirt).
The Longest Day
Yes. You’ve heard it over and over again recently “This is the most important day in a woman’s life”. Newsflash… That cliché is annoyingly true. And what’s more, she expects it to hold the same significance for you. So while she’s buying a veritable library of wedding magazines and showing you the 32 different ways she’s thinking of wearing her hair, she’s hoping that thoughtful look on your face relates to your own ideas for the wedding rather than just how much you’re looking forward to the bachelor party.
Oh yeah… and she’s going to want to wear a dress that will cost the price of a small family car. And then she’s never going to wear it again.
So while you’d be happy with a small (mercifully quick) ceremony and a party with a really good band and a large TV screen where you can watch live football is already planning the whole operation with military precision. At times it will feel more like you’re planning to storm the beaches of Normandy rather than planning a wedding.
But here’s the big thing, all her determination to get things right is because she wants things to be perfect for you as well.
Despite all the madness, it’s vital you make sure you’re involved as much as possible. Yes, the beautiful calm girl you asked to marry you is now barking orders like a drill sergeant and is on the verge of turning into a bridezilla, try to remember the words of Rudyard Kipling “if you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs…” So here are some basic truths:
- She IS going to get stressed.
- She IS going to get upset.
- You WILL have arguments concerning the wedding.
- This is all perfectly normal, so don’t panic. Just try and keep your head.
Playing Your Part
One of the most common complaints brides-to-be have is that they don’t feel the groom cares as much about planning a perfect day. By getting involved as much as possible you can try and avoid that accusation.
Yes, you might not care what color the napkins are going to be or how many glasses each person should have but these details matter to her so that means you should make them important to you. And when she is freaking out because the wrong font on the place cards will totally destroy her dream day try and find solutions rather than head for the golf course. For modern caring men that might all seem obvious enough, but in the midst of wedding weirdness, there will be times when you feel you need to getaway.
But it’s your big day too, it should reflect both of you so make sure you get involved (where you’re allowed) and bring your own ideas to the party.
The Last Word
Many modern brides like to have their say during the big day as well and the bride’s speeches are becoming an increasingly common addition to more traditional weddings.
As for everything else, good luck, stay strong and if things get really crazy, you can always go for that astronaut training you once had in mind.