While I was planning my wedding, it never even occurred to me to hire a wedding planner or coordinator. I knew they existed, for sure, but planning my wedding was so exciting to me, I didn’t think I wanted or needed help. I knew exactly what I wanted, I knew what vendors I wanted to work with, and I’m naturally super, Type A organized. I also knew I’d have a venue coordinator the day of my wedding. What could a planner possibly do for me other than cost more money?? Turns out I didn’t realize my mistake until the very weekend of my wedding… Boy was I wrong thinking there was nothing I’d need a planner for. In fact, one of my biggest regrets from my wedding day is that I didn’t have a planner.
I want to make it clear that I’m not writing this post as a way to say “EVERYONE should hire a planner because I’m a planner and I want business!”… no. My goal on this blog is to share my experience with you and very simply, offer advice to future brides 🙂
So, here we go, 5 things that happened to me because I didn’t have a wedding planner…
1. I WAS THE ONLY POC
POC = Point of Contact. Do you know how every vendor form you fill out has a place for the wedding day POC and phone number? Yeah, that was me on all my forms. And that shouldn’t be the bride!!!! The bride shouldn’t be worried about when hair and makeup is arriving, or where they should be parking, or that they are running late. No!!! The bride should be sipping a mimosa and relaxing with her bridesmaids. So, as a result of me being the POC, I had the florist asking me where the groomsmen were so they could get their boutonnieres, I had the band come up to me during the reception confirming our entrance lineup, and I had hotel staff asking me where the rental vases should go at the end of the night. Was this their fault?? No!! They didn’t have anyone else to ask! I was the only one who knew, but it shouldn’t have been me!
2. I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW THE FULL TIMELINE
Throughout the entire day, I was SO paranoid that we were going to be running behind. I was constantly checking the time, running through the schedule in my head. Our venue coordinator was only responsible for making sure the reception ran smoothly. So during the time, we were getting ready, our first look, and our ride to and from the ceremony venue, I was the one making sure we were on schedule and would get to the reception on time. Talk about stress!!
3. THE DETAILS WEREN’T DISCUSSED
When you’re a bride, it’s most likely the first time you’ve ever been a bride. You don’t think about the little detailed questions that need to be discussed and answered for the wedding day like, who should your gifts be given to at the end of the night? who is delivering vendor payments? where are the decor rentals going after the reception? Since I didn’t have a planner, I didn’t have anyone asking me these questions, and these details weren’t discussed!
4. I GOT ZERO SLEEP THE NIGHT BEFORE
I’m pretty sure it was the night before the wedding while I was staring at the ceiling wide awake when I realized I should have hired a planner. BAM the realization hit me that I was the ONLY one who knew everything that needed to happen the next day. And so, my crazy brain couldn’t do anything except run through the schedule in my head over and over and over…
5. I WAS BURNT OUT AND EXHAUSTED
By the end of my wedding night, I was completely exhausted. I hadn’t slept in over 24 hours, I had an insanely busy day, and my mind was going crazy all day trying to make sure everything ran smoothly. My husband and friends wanted to hang out at the hotel bar after the reception and I just couldn’t do anything anymore. I remember looking at my new husband and saying, “Kyle, I need to go to the room and go to bed as soon as possible.” I was completely burnt out.
For the brides like me who LOVED the planning process, I can’t stress enough how important it is to hire at least a day of coordinator for your wedding day. You cannot be the POC for your wedding, you need to be the bride and only the bride. You need someone there who knows your wedding like the back of their hand just like you do. Don’t spend a year planning a day that you won’t even get to enjoy and don’t let these 5 things happen to you too!